I stumbled on this article citing “10 Qualities of Strong Women that Men Can’t Handle” by CureJoy. Straight away, the thought process puts all men in a weak position. This article smartly uses the idiom, “strong women” but the same positive adverb is missing when it comes to the men. There is a huge generalization in the next idiom, “can’t handle” wherein some 10 “qualities” are attributed to women. 10 qualities – strong women – men can’t handle.
Today’s romance is looking bleak. It is almost wiser to remain single.”
There are two subliminal messages in this article, (1) “strong women have qualities.” (2) men in general “can’t handle” those qualities. If you reversed this statement, it would be offensive to women. 1O Qualities of Powerful Men that Woman Can’t Handle. It is not that I don’t want women to be strong, only I do not think it’s healthy to express that strength with men as a scapegoat.
How I wish this was the early 2000s when we as a society still had a shot at lifelong romantic relationship. Today’s romance is looking bleak. It is almost wiser to remain single. One day a couple is blooming with love, making babies, kissing and hugging on the social network and the next they are bitter enemies fighting over child support or alimony payments.
Romantic relationships are so fragile nowadays that there is almost a 99% chance that all new relationships will fail. If we were to cast blames we’d say it’s because of the popularity of the secular way of thinking. Since many couples, after their honeymoon stage is over, struggle with power and control issues. From the female’s often feminist perspective, it is not surprising to men when she chooses to be self-reliant while the men in her life are expected to adhere to traditional relationship norms.
Respects God and culture and fights to preserve the order of things because she knows she’s a part of the tradition and bloodline.”
From the male’s perspective, there is a sense of emptiness when his spouse is not very enthused by his masculine prowess. Often emasculated or not needed by his liberated spouse who has a slew of other options available should she decided to walk away. This imbalance of respect is why when I saw this article, I had to give my response to it. I agree with 80% of the article but CureJoy’s narrative is more suited for yesterday’s woman.
We all have our definition of a strong woman. I think a strong woman is someone who has fought and dealt with challenges that she didn’t let them make her disgruntled. She celebrates her wins and learns from her losses. A strong woman respects God and culture and fights to preserve the order of things because she knows she’s a part of the tradition and bloodline. She carries the torch to the finish line, playing her part so others can come along and benefit from her contribution.
1. She Is Her Own Fighter – Men don’t want to be fought against for no reason, especially when we get blamed if we win the fight. Men are not bothered when a woman fights her own battles. In fact, it’s the opposite. We love the relief she gives us to now focus on our creativity without having to babysit.
2. She Knows What She Wants – Here again, I know I’m speaking for all real men when I say we love a woman who knows what she wants. What we don’t like is when someone gets what they want and still remains unsatisfied. Or she refuses suggestions because she don’t want to be proven wrong. Wanting something is not as important as remaining grateful after you get it.
3. She Respects Honesty And Vulnerability – Ahhhh, fellas, if you want a woman to get tired of you, be completely honest and vulnerable with her. Remember Samson in the Bible? Delilah stayed and pursued him for as long as he lied to her, the moment he told her the truth, she betrayed him. Because he told her the truth, his monumental story came to a tragic end.
4. She Will Not Shy Away From Intimacy – Yes, we love a woman who leads the way to the bedroom but if she was in love with her ex who introduced her to painal? That buttplug will lose its charm in about a year. Especially if the bf before her painal loving ex was Raw Dogg Charlie.
5. She May Be A Human Lie Detector – I agree here. Women are usually very difficult to deceive. But it’s only because they are masters of deception. She will see through you because your best game is elementary to her. Society excuses women when they deceive others while men are shamed for doing the same. That’s an HUUUUGE headstart. So, your best lie is a cheap shot for her.
6. She Needs Integrity, Respect, And Consistency – To me, this also sounds good on the surface when you are not putting accountability at a high priority. For a man to remain respectful and consistent he needs on point accountability. If someone cannot accept when they’re wrong, stop and correct their wrong doing, then why should he be consistent? He will have to forgo his integrity with that person.
7. She Can Be Intense And Hard To Handle – This can be a sign of control issues. If she’s dishing it out, she should be prepared to eat it as well. You know the one where you can’t do this or that but she can? All these points are accurate. However, they should apply both ways if equality is the real agenda. Once you start giving extra lanes to special people, were back in Patriarchy again.
8. She Knows Her Worth And Yours Too – As long as she’s not devaluing him in a narcissistic way where she’s automatically exonerated of all blame when he does not put up with bs and he is not treated like shit, then okay. As long as men are expected to pay alimony, we shouldn’t even bring up the word value. If we do we will find that he’s more valuable since he’s ultimately the cash cow.
9. She Loves Unconditionally – Approximately 70% of all divorces or breakups are initiated by women. Valuable women usually won’t date a bum because he’s a bum. Here’s a little arithmetic. Who pays for the wedding? The rings? Who buys the family car, who buys the house? Who gets to keep them after a breakup? Women being the intelligent creatures they are, will never walk away from a slot machine they’ve been pumping cash into, they will wait to cash in on the jackpot. It’s not always about love, it’s usually about arithmetic. And women are great at math.
10. She Will Show You Who You Are And Can Be – It’s always good to have a woman who sees your other potentials and pushes you (her man) to use them. Then again, it’s another thing when you’re doing what she says just so you can fit into her vision. If she really loves you she would value your vision. She will win with you or lose with you, side by side. *