My anxiety is not over death. It’s not to lose everything I’ve worked for from flipping and openly bodying something, just off the rage. What will my people say? Those who have supported me this whole time. How do you see through the bullshit? From my [Independent] point of view, it looks like everyone (Lebron James, Candace Owens, and Royce Da 5’9) is right in this exchange. The predicament I see is miscommunication and wrong timing. Racism exists. That’s not a question. I’m sure even Candace Owens has her stories. The puzzle is, how do we identify it correctly? Let me tell my own story that happened just a couple of days ago. Maybe I can use that to illustrate my thoughts on this matter.
I was in a predominantly caucasian city in Germany, and right off the rip, I’m getting a lot of attention from both white men and women. My moms would call it “favor,” but I felt very awkward.”
Okay, everybody knows I have this ill spot in Berlin, Germany, where I choose to revisit from time to time. Germany is an awe-inspiring federal country divided into sixteen astounding states. Berlin, the German capital, is one of the largest metropolitan cities in the world. Like Singapore, it is both a state and the capital at the same time. I was here in February when the global lockdown ensued. Being that I did not want to risk traveling or quarantine afterward, I’ve decided to stay put. I’m by the border of the city-state that is close to another state called Brandenburg. Alright. A few days ago, I went to a town called Oranienburg, which is about twenty minutes away from where I stay in Berlin.
Oranienburg is one of the main towns in the state of Brandenburg. I’m a 6’2, dark-skinned black man who is about 235 pounds. That day, I had dressed in an all-black business suit with smart dress shoes. That day, I also wore my glasses. We drove to the parking lot, parked the truck, and walked to the nearby crosswalk to cross the road. German crossroads are epic. Immediately after exiting the whip, I noticed that a couple of white mammies walked passed and gave me the eyebrow tilted staredown. Was it the swag? I didn’t think so. If there’s one thing I know for a fact, I’m definitely not a pretty boy. I’ve never walked around feeling like a billboard. Mind you; this is not Jersey City, Toronto, or Brussels.
I’m moving solo in Germany. After all, it is often sporadic when I run into other black people when I dive this deep. Except for this day, I was in a state that is known in German politics to house extreme Right-wing supporters. There are fabrications of racism and harassment, mostly of Africans and Arab immigrants. Here I was going about my grind, and getting stared at as if I just stepped out of an advertisement. Being the North American that I am, who is conscious of racism, I felt very uneasy. It’s less nerve-wracking when the onlookers are dotting women, but when generative Hill Billies, who reek of toxic masculinity, slow their pickup trucks down to have a stare, a brother gets a little agitated.
If Candace is saying that by acknowledging acts of racism as lynching or a hate crime, we empower the psychological continuum of racism, then she is a genius.”
I walked off, nodding at the middle-aged gentlewomen every time they saluted. In my head, I’m asking myself, why are all these people greeting me? I was in a predominantly caucasian town in Germany, and right off the rip, I’m getting a lot of attention from both white men and women. My moms would call it “favor,” but I felt very awkward. When I arrived at my destination, I mentioned my experience to my host. Don’t get me wrong. Candace Owens could be an idiotic asshole. That’s possible. But after listening to her statements, I have been compelled to ponder. C’mon, if you had half a brain, even if you were the most liberal asslicker on the planet, after knowing the situation, you’d step back and ask some questions. Why is this black woman not down with the program? Is she a spokesperson for all those black girls who only date white boys?
You’d have to want at least to understand her story before casting her off to the wolves. Then again, if you dissect this toad from an Independent perspective, it is possible that you’d stumble on another conclusion. Is there a psychological effect on all the racism that’s happening in America? What if the attackers meant these crimes to send a subliminal message of our weakness across the world? If that message was to resonate, would it serve to diminish our status and set us back by hundreds of years? If Candace is saying that by acknowledging acts of racism as lynching or a hate crime, we empower the psychological continuum of racism, then she is a genius. In that case, it would be imperative that we see such crimes as a mere crime as opposed to racial attacks, which we are powerless to prevent. In my example, I was unable to tell what was what.
That brings me back to my story. As black people, the question could be, how do we identify racism before it is too late? How could I have known if the “white person” is being rude or not? Given the fact that they come from a culture where they killed each other for centuries. I mean, have you read up on European history? These people have been murdering each other for ages. As a black person, it is not always the case that people who we don’t know are kind to us. We do not accomplish something great and get a standing ovation. Usually, we are faced with obstacles, rejection, violence, and suspicion. So when we do run into trouble, our first impression is that it happened because of our race.
These people have been murdering each other for ages. As a black person, it is not always the case that people who we don’t know are kind to us. We do not accomplish something great and get a standing ovation.”
Now, bite me for this, but could there be other reasons why shit happens? If a white person was to start an argument or a fight, should we automatically assume that it is because of the color of our skin? Going back to Ahmaud Arbery, one could argue that it is strange that he was a well frequent jogger, and yet his neighbors did not know him. Or, he could have been jogging, saw the house under construction, went in to take a look, and then came out to suspicious onlookers. Royce Da 5’9 is absolutely right in the fact that even if Ahmaud Arbery was acting suspiciously, the father and son did not have a right to attack and kill him. My question is not if this crime was motivated by racism, it is about if maybe we should remove the stigma by considering such attacks as normal crimes which could happen between any race of people.
In my story, it turned out that on that day, in Oranienburg, those people were being nice to me. They seemed to appreciate my charisma and were open to having a nosey chat or maybe even a sit down over a cup of coffee. That is not unusual in Germany. Strangers often meet in public after striking a connection and they slurp down a quick cup of coffee before figuring where that connection is about to take them. Even while dressed in some serious threads, having pulled up in a 2020 ride, with some change in my pocket, I was still insecure. I was even left to question if perhaps it was I who was racist? Or maybe not. Maybe all those smiles were a cloud of smoke in the mirror? How could I tell the difference?*