We had a lot of women who had the same mentality as Pepa had back in the mid to late 90s. You’d speak to them respectfully, treat them like a diva and offer to be their boyfriend. They would say, “I know you’re a great guy and all, but I can’t go out with you because you’re too nice.” Meaning, she knows you’re handsome, you make good money, you treat her well, but you behave too properly. In the mid-90s if you dressed intelligently and were not a “thug,” there was usually no dice for you. The most exciting women were not interested. And you know what? That gave rise to a whole generation of fake thugs. If you wanted to date the hottest girl in town, you’d fake it. There were pregnant sweethearts everywhere. Artificial thugs were knocking them down like target practice.
“I sometimes kick myself when I think about what could have been,” Pepa told Global Grind. “He was so nice to me, but I really wasn’t feeling him.” The iconic female rapper reminisced. “I guess I couldn’t appreciate a nice guy like Will Smith. He wasn’t thug enough. I was attracted to thugs and hoodlums. Will was too nice for me.” – Pepa.
I remember living in The Gambia back in 1995/96 when I’d ask some of these so-called thug loving girls out on a date. And they would say the same thing to me (not necessarily Gambian girls tho). I don’t know if it was supposed to be a diss or what? Some of them would say things like, “you’re not my type” or “you’re too sweet.”
The funny part about it is that the guys whom those sweethearts (who said stuff like that) were interested in (at that time) came to me to borrow clothes, shoes, money, or even the latest music. I was the ghostwriter for the “thug rappers” they admired. Because I was one of the few guys in town, who had droves of relatives (parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts) overseas. I would receive suitcases full of designer clothes and shoes from America or England plus a monthly stipend.
But, I didn’t show off or bragged about it. All I wanted was a chance to become an author or an emcee, so, I read a lot. I concentrated on self-education. My parents are God-fearing people who taught me manners. I’d speak adequately, dress neatly and treat everyone with courtesy and respect. I had a fair share of dates, but the most exciting babes in town said I’m “too cute. And for that, there was no dice. Preferably, they preferred to be impregnated by the guy who borrowed my Nike Airs. Rather than to allow me to treat them nicely. Funnily enough, if they did come out with me at that time, I would have spoiled them rotten.
Before Radical Feminism Gained Popularity
“I thought Will was really cute and we would hang out a lot on the road. He liked to take care of me and never let me spend a dime. He was that kind of guy, real generous. I remember when they won their first award, he asked me to go out with him afterward. He was so excited. We were walking along the street getting ready to grab something to eat, and he just gave this homeless guy 100 dollars… ”
That was years before radical feminism became the new trend for most women. As they are gullible enough to fall for womanism now, they did the same with thugs in the 90s. It was all about dating the “bad boy.” None of those guys whom they admired were even close to being real. Which shows the type of choices some of our sisters make when it comes to dating. As you can see, Will Smith went on to become a mega blockbuster superstar. He is one of the highest selling Hip-Hop artists of all time. He met and married Jada an entirely better choice than Pepa. And they’ve raised a gorgeous family since then.
Two Decades Later
Wistfully, all those girls who said that to the none impressive guys like me back then have since hit the wall. They’ve been impregnated by several thugs they admired. Those guys ended up sleeping with their relatives, friends and impregnating a host of other ladies all over the country. They got fat, wrinkly, and you name the rest. Some of them got married to the said thug, and that ended in divorce shortly after that. Most of the girls who said things like what Pepa said to Will, or guys like me back then would run to be our side chick now. Or They will join a movement of entitlement claiming that “there are no good men.”
Most of those women are older now, still single or divorced single mothers. They’ve reached their 40s/50s and are saying things like “where did all the good men go?” Or “how come I can’t find a guy?” Their child support or alimony payments have expired. The children they had with those “bad boys” way back then have all grown up. Some of the women who said that is now championing the new movement of radical feminism or womanism. Others have gone to college and started a great career. Some have become bitter, others have resolved to religion, etc. And the thugs they admired are still out there thugging it.
I say this to tell good guys to never stop being great. Just because one or two of your favorite babes have rejected you doesn’t mean you should change who you are. Focus on your goals and be patient. You will find someone who appreciates and deserves all the pleasant experiences you have to offer. Continue to open doors, pull out chairs, speak properly, dress neatly, and dream big. Treat everyone with respect. Be true to yourself. In the end, you will be happy those sweethearts didn’t linger with you.*