I’m going to use myself as an example here. I never, ever, ever pray, wish or dream about physical money itself. I pray, hope and dream of the experiences I want to enjoy. Don’t worry about how I’m going to afford them; I only wish to the experience. For example, if I want a car that cost let’s say, $20k. I don’t pray, hope or dream about the $20k, I dream about the car. To me, the $20k is just the means to my end. I pray, wish or dream for the car because as long as I have it, I don’t need the $20k.
Sincerely speaking, I rarely check my bank accounts and never have more than 200 euros in my wallet at any given time. And that 200 is a stretch, I’m usually carrying 20 or 50. How could I have immediate cash when I practically call three different countries my home? It takes almost a week to transfer money from Canada to Belgium when my needs must first be met in the United States. So, if it’s an emergency and I don’t have it on me, well guess what? Like Tupac said, “just got paid and we still was broke.”
So my situation is this, the ATM only gives $1000 in a day so if we can not put it on a credit card, then hopefully they take checks. My expenses are budgeted months in advance, and my network is expected to run like an assembly line. I’m just saying, I’ve eaten a steak and then went to count quarters after that. We all have our constraints. The question is, will you know this if you saw me shopping in a store? If I had to pay something and came out promising to go back in a few days, what would you say? I’m spoiled, rich, stingy, mean, stupid, a crook?
You do not know what a man has to do or how long it takes to get his hands on what he needs. All you know is if that person is credible or not. So you can not jump to conclusions when a guy does his thing in a way that is not practical for you. If there is something I have learned about money, it comes when you stop worrying about it. Just accept your current status, do your work and be content. If anyone was kind enough to pull out their stash of ones in front of you and implied that YOU may have some of it? Be thankful, instead of hating them for opening up to you.
I see catcalling as a peer pressure thing. The guy is trying to prove to someone that he’s a certified mac. I’m going to put this on me. I had my first romantic contact with girls while I lived in Bo (a province in Sierra Leone). And in that situation, I had a very eye-opening experience. Can you imagine, I had just escaped a war, could mount and dismount an AK47 with my eyes closed, but knew nothing about how to get a girlfriend? I was, 13 years old and all I thought about was not just sex, but the adoration and love of a girl who recognizes me as her boyfriend. I wanted a beautiful girl to go mad for me.
At this time I was a church boy, so if any girl were going to pity the needy little horny me, it would be the choir girl. But, I had to outshine the choirmaster, the pastor and avoid getting killed by her father. I decided to join the choir and learn to play the guitar. Maybe I could sing my way to a girl’s heart. Nah, that did not work either. The choir was not taking new members, and they already had some guitar superstars in the church. Fuck, I decided to get some flashy clothes, a haircut and learn to rap.
My rap song of choice? “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice. First I had to get the tape, find a radio to play the tape, then ask my big homie to teach me how to spit the whole song, borrow some flashy clothes and find the girl and the perfect opportunity to pop the rhymes. It was in 1990, and at that time in Bo, you had a better chance impressing someone with “Prisoner” by Lucky Dude than with any rap song. Forget this. Maybe I should try “Cinema” by Ice MC.
I’m too young, broke, and I could not get more than a friendly greeting from the girls I liked. At this point, I threw up the all-time grand strategy. Make sure my mom is not around, and catcall the shit out of all the girls I see. It was terrible! Out of every hundred girls, only one or two responded. The few who did were offended. Meanwhile, I’m hearing stories that single girls who were the city slut and the Bo School boys, who donkey fucked the preachers’ daughters. I was attending CKC.
So one day I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was thin, long hair right up her back and adorable. My heart stopped. I was in love!!! I went home thinking about all the different scenarios I could create to ask her to be my girl. But none of my scenes worked. I went back to my trusted catcall strategy; it guaranteed me some attention at the least. The next time I saw my target I made the strongest, most audacious catcall ever.
The girl stopped, and she was not offended! It was happening; I was finally standing in front of a girl who was waiting to talk. I froze. Her beauty was too much for me. I could not say a word. My heart was pounding; my hands were sweating, my eyes watered, my knees shaking. I did not know what to say. Of course, every woman I’ve ever met is far more experience than me when it comes to romance so while I stood there with my jaw dropped, she left. To her, I was a time waster.
The next day, when I saw her coming, I hid so she would not see me. A week later I asked her to go to a school dance, and she said yes. I don’t know if she forgot or not but when I arrived there she was already there, rolling in the arms of one of those favorite boys who were known for donkey fucking the free girls in the city. I mean, it was my first time in Up Town Disco. No surprise there anyway, this girl was way too hot for me. She was with the right guy, and he was not me. I proceeded to be shocked at a few of my friends from school who were smoking cigarettes. Oh, if you’re curious how a 13 years old got in the club, just think Houdini.
Lack of Experience
The following year I went on an outing, but this time I had the red and black Michael Jackson “Thriller” suit. Yes, it took me five years chewing gum and saving cutouts before my Thriller outfit was mine. In 1991, with my red and black Thriller outfit, I stepped to another attractive girl (within my age range) in town, caused a casual conversation and the next thing I knew, I had a girlfriend. Keep in mind, the way in was to have a girlfriend. The primary goal was if she got you laid Meaning, her position was not guaranteed until we became intimate. Being young and dumb, once the news got around that I was dating her, other girls started inviting me out.
One of those girls seduced and popped the cherry, and with my newly popped cherry and a promise of a lifetime to cherry popping, I dumped the best girlfriend ever. I’m sorry to this day. I was young and immature. Looking back on that now I can say with certainty that catcalls are a last-ditch effort by desperate men. They have good intentions for the girl they are calling, but because everything has failed in that department, they have resorted to the crash dummy option. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it fails.
The interesting lesson I learned is one, and the girl might be a hoe. And two, it’s one thing to get a woman’s attention and another to make the right decision she wants. Everyone makes it to the first base, but only a few hits a home run. My advice is to be a little more creative, and if you’ve already seen her cat called and she refused, you should step back. Learn how to be a boyfriend or husband first before you start looking for a date because when you find her, she will demand your respect and courtesy.
The interesting lesson I learned is one, and the girl might be a hoe. And two, it’s one thing to get a woman’s attention and another to make the right decision she wants. Everyone makes it to the first base, but only a few hits a home run. My advice is to be a little more creative, and if you’ve already seen her cat called and she refused, you should step back. Learn how to be a boyfriend or husband first before you start looking for a date because when you find her, she will demand your respect and courtesy.*